Wrap on 2020

2020 simultaneously felt like the longest and the shortest year ever. There is one thing I know for sure though: this past year was not easy for anyone. For me, it was a year filled with silent battles, internal struggle, and the lowest of lows but 2021 brings a fresh start, new perspective, and a world of possibilities. I wanted to share a few of my lessons I took away from this year and a few of my resolutions looking forward.

But first, here's a recap of 2020:

Highlights:

• Staying with Marisa in D.C. while attending the Universities Allied for Essential Medicines (UAEM) North American Leadership Conference in February! We toured the white house, walked across D.C. in the rain, got the best cupcakes near Georgetown, baked some cookies, and of course went to a psychic!

• Interviewing for the Truman Scholarship in Arizona in March right before the pandemic got worse.

• Creating a "quarantine pod' with a really cool group of humans in the fall at UCLA!

• Turning 21 in the summer and celebrating with my favorite people.

• Doing my first photoshoots/paid shoots!

Lessons:

1. WIN: "What's Important Now" - I share this with a lot of my friends. It's really easy to get overwhelmed balancing school, work, relationships, family, etc and so whenever I get stressed, I just think about what is most important to me in that very moment ("WIN") that I need to focus on (aka getting groceries, sending a specific email, finishing the assignment due that day).

2. Communicating in spite of a pandemic (or just long-distance in general): I'm not kidding when I say I keep an ongoing (relatively small) list of people I value in my life/people that make me happy. These include my friends from school, home, abroad, etc. I look at this list once every few weeks and if there's someone I haven't talked to in a while, I reach out and set up a call. Normally I go on a walk everyday, and I spend that hour catching up with someone (or listening to music if I'm stressed out). That leads me to...

3. Go for a daily walk: Nothing makes me feel more refreshed than a walk. Not only is it good for you, but also a walk is a great way to clear your mind and change up your environment for a little bit! The best walks are during golden hour and they don't have to be long!

4. (Active) listening: I really learned this past year how to listen before I speak -- it's so easy to get lost in your thoughts while someone else talks, but I can't stress how important it is to be aware of what someone else is saying.

5. It's the little things: 2020 really showed me how important the little things are. I found so much joy in watching a sunset, cooking with my roommates, listening to my favorite song, etc and that's one lesson I'm very thankful 2020 taught me.

6. Put it in the universe, don't let it consume you: I tend to stress. and worry. a lot. I learned this year though to put a 110% into something and put it in the universe. I applied to a lot of things in 2020: grad school, fellowships, clubs. I simply did the application the best I could and the rest is up to the world. I promise this will help relieve so much stress.

7. You are responsible for your own happiness: You can't expect people to be there for you always and I really learned this the hard way. I put expectations on relationships and when their actions didn't meet expectations, I was disappointed. You have to learn to how to be happy with yourself and make yourself happy.

8. Everyone has imposter syndrome: IMPOSTER SYNDROME IS SO REAL. and it's brutal. I talked to a lot of people about this -- medical students, doctors, lawyers, other students who are at the top of their class, it is so common. It's easier said than done but be confident, even if you don't feel confident. But also, don't be afraid to admit when you don't know something and accept that you don't need to know everything. I'm going to make another blog post about this soon!

“You think, ‘Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?’” – Meryl Streep

Looking forward, I can tell you 2021 will be the most uncertain I've been in my life in terms of what my year and future holds. I could be in the Netherlands pursuing a Fulbright. I could be in New York completing a graduate degree. Or, perhaps, I could pull a Liz Gilbert (if you know this reference, I automatically love you), and spend a year traveling (with purpose), doing different jobs, blogging, and improving my photography.

I have never made a vision board before, and despite my embarrassing artistic abilities, I was pretty happy with the way this came out. Vision boards are a way to set clear intentions and goals for what you want in your upcoming year! I cut out a lot from old magazines and then printed off a few images.

Going off of that, here's what I am certain about though; these are the 10 goals I have for myself. I am posting them with you not only to share, but to also hold myself accountable. This will truly be a year for ME; the theme of this next year is really to take care of myself, physically, mentally, and financially. I've been so consumed with school and have never put myself first, but I want that to change this year.

1. Photography and videography: I've always enjoyed taking photos while traveling and creating montages of my trips, but I've never pursued it seriously. 2020 was the first year I took my camera out, asked my friends to go on shoots, and just took photos to practice and I'm pretty happy with how a lot of them came out. I definitely think I have a better eye for street photography, but I'm excited to get out of my comfort zone and really focus on learning my camera, shooting, and editing. I want to learn Final Cut Pro this year and do more paid shoots this year!

2. Learning how to relax: I actually don't think I know how to relax. I don't think it's possible for me at this moment in time. I want to learn how to be content doing nothing.

3. Running: This leads into my next goal but I want to get back into shape. I used to love running, so I'm hoping to get my mile average back to where it was a few years ago!

4. Self-confidence: Like many young adults in this day and age, I struggle sometimes with my own confidence (contrary to what my social media may portray).

5. Self-care, in general: I want this to take form in leisure activities, health, meditation, and journaling. By leisure activities, I want to read more (a book a month is the goal), express myself creatively more through painting (no I can't paint but art is art) and music by practicing my piano and guitar, learn how to cook more meals (a new meal a week would be ideal), meditate daily (once in the morning, once at night), journal daily (including expressing daily gratitude), and drink eight glasses.

Here's my book list (inspired by many of the answers I received on instagram, thank you!):

• The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander (Non-fiction)

• The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates (Fiction)

• Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan (Nonfiction)

• Anxious People by Fredrik Backman (Fiction)

• The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson (Fiction)

• The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab (Fiction)

• The Go-Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea by Bob Burg (Fiction)

• The Best We Could Do by Thi Bui (Fiction)

• The Expulsion of the Other: Society, Perception and Communication Today by Byung-Chul Han (Nonfiction)

• The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris (Fiction)

• Untamed by Glennon Doyle (Nonfiction)

• A Promised Land by Barack Obama (Nonfiction)

• The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls (Nonfiction)

• And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini

• A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara (Fiction)

• Court of Thrones and Roses by Sarah J. Maas (Fiction)

• Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day by Jay Shetty (Nonfiction)

• When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi (Fiction)

• A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (Fiction)

• The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay (Nonfiction)

• The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides (Fiction)

• Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese (Fiction)

• The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt (Nonfiction)

• Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (Fiction)

• A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (Fiction)

• Know your Price by Andre Perry (Nonfiction)

6. Road trips: There is so much around us. I always want to fly elsewhere, a different country or continent but I forget how much beauty there is around us. This year, I want to take more road trips with my close friends - living in California, I can easily road trip around California and within Arizona, Utah, and Nevada (and even drive up to the Northwest)!

7. Screen time: COVID-19 definitely enabled me to use my phone a lot more than I did prior to the pandemic. My attention span is also nonexistent. I really want to put my phone down more often this year and stop being so dependent on it. Ideally, that means four hours or less. Right now, it's between six and eight hours per week. Your iphone can set limits and schedule downtime in its settings!

8. Spanish: I really want to learn Spanish. I've taken five years in school now between high school and college, but I'm nowhere near fluent. I'm going to be using Conversifi, Duolingo, watching my favorite movies in Spanish, and maybe even get a penpal to help with this (Interpals is my site recommendation)!

9. Procrastination: In high school, I was never a procrastinator. And then? I got to college and somehow forgot to do things on time. In fact, it felt impossible unless I had the pressure of a deadline. This next year, I want to implement the "do-it-now" rule -- if there is something that will take me 10 minutes or less to accomplish, I want to take care of it right then.

10. Stocks: I finally started investing this past year and I wish I did it sooner. I downloaded the app Robinhood and opened a Roth IRA and I hope this year I continue to invest each month in Robinhood and learn more about trading.

Those are all of mine! I encourage you to also share your goals with someone else so they can hold you accountable! It's so easy to let these resolutions slip, but you got this!

Wishing everyone a very happy new year!